Inducing Lactation: Breastfeeding for Adoption (Part 2 – My Protocol & Fennel Oil! )

Well…. today is the day… the last day of the birth control regimen. Tomorrow begins the wonderful world of pumping. If you are wondering what I am talking about – you can read the first post here-¬†(Part 1)

I have been working both with my OB and a doula/lactation consultant to come up with my process. Here is what my protocol will be:

**as always – I am not a doctor, my protocol is purely for informational purposes. Please consult a professional before starting an process **
  • For the last 12 weeks I have been on a high estrogen level birth control (skipping the placebo week). This is designed to tell the body that you are pregnant and help you develop proper breast tissue – the high dosage of hormones also simulated pregnancy.
  • 6 weeks before the baby is due (where I am now!) – I will go off of the birth control causing a sharp decrease of estrogen. This will mimic the concept of giving birth (hormone wise ūüėČ )
  • Once you go off of the bcp (birth control pills) – you will want to start pumping every 2-3 hours with a hospital grade pump. ¬†This stimulation plus other aids will tell your body to begin increasing production of both oxytocin and prolactin.
    • Oxytocin-¬†The love hormone-¬†known to be plentiful in lactating women.
    • Prolactin- produced by the pituitary gland – also known as luteotropic hormone or luteotropin, is a protein that is best known for its role in enabling mammals, usually females, to produce milk.

There will be of course other aids along the way that I will utilize – I have outlined some of those below:

  • drinking LOTS OF WATER – ¬†at least one ounce per lb of body weight is suggested for proper hydration
  • LACTATION COOKIES – who doesn’t love the ability to eat a cookie everyday? My wonderful mother who makes me all sorts of gluten free items ( ¬†is making me a large batch of lactation cookies! I will post the link to recipe soon!
  • FENNEL ESSENTIAL OIL –¬†Prolactin is not the only hormone that Fennel helps with. It’s a good idea for ALL people, especially mamas, to have this in their arsenal. A little bit massaged each day can help the body increase prolactin production and in turn, increase production. (get your starter kit –¬†here!¬†)

There will be absolutely nothing like the actual process of having a baby at the breast. Most people find that the baby is really what kicks their production into gear. The body just sort of “knows” that this baby needs you to produce.

So what if I’m not producing enough yet to feed her when she arrives? ¬†Here are the wonderful options we have:

  • The Supplemental Nursing System (aka: SNS) – ¬†This system is designed to allow the baby to still be at the breast, receiving that contact, while still also getting enough nutrition! ¬†With the help of some wonderful milk donors, we also have a large stash of breast- milk that our baby can have even if I’m not there enough yet! Incredible yes? Check it out:
  • The SNS can also be used for:
    • Inducing lactation
    • Keeping special-needs babies at the breast
    • Premature babies
    • Weak, ineffective or lazy nursers
    • Failure-to-thrive babies
    • Impaired babies
    • Low-milk supply mothers
    • Relactating mothers
    • A teaching tool to “fingerfed” babies who have difficulty latching onto the breast.

There are many other options and protocols you can follow – this is where I will be starting. I will update with any new protocol added – but.. today is the day… every 2-3 hours…. pray for my sanity!




Inducing Lactation: Breastfeeding for Adoption (Part 1)

*first and foremost, I am not a doctor. This is purely my personal story and process for informational purposes only*

One of the most incredible and profound things to me is that the female body has been built with everything necessary to sustain another human life. In fact, research has shown and proven that woman’s breast milk when breast feeding a baby will morph and change to provide the nutrients needed for that specific baby. If that is not divine intervention – I don’t know what is.

However, did you know that you can also induce lactation without ever being pregnant?! Full disclaimer…. I am at the beginning of this process – so my personal success rate is yet to be seen… but women have been doing this for hundreds of years if not more!

This process dates back to maidservants and wet nurses who induced lactation as part of their services to the household they worked in! Crazy! Breastfeeding and that close bond and contact with a baby is one of the most important things you can do for a child and I am so excited to be able to have this special connection with our sweet babe.

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There are two basic things you need to go about this and prepare the body for milk production:

  • A large amount of determination
  • A protocol/regimen to follow to stimulate breast tissue and milk ducts.

There are so many choices of protocol and products to use to aid in this scenario including medications, Birth Control, progesterone and estrogen supplements, stimulation, pumping, herbs, teas, and more.

As many of you know – I am about going as natural as possible – so my journey will start with a birth control regimen (not a fan of this part, but I only have 6 weeks! ), pumping, teas/herbs, and essential oils.

The biggest part of the journey will be having the skin to skin contact with the baby. This protocol, skin to skin, and use of an SNS system should hopefully bring the journey full circle!

The process starts this weekend! I will be documenting my journey here to help others in their path as well. If you have any questions – feel free to write a message!

Inducing Lactation: Breastfeeding for Adoption (Part 2 ‚Äď My Protocol & Fennel Oil! )





“Even When It Hurts” (An adoption story – learning to trust God’s will)

1 Corinthians 2:9 – “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him…”

This verse takes me back to a church service a few weeks back where the message’s theme centered around the need to focus on desiring Christ’s presence in our lives. You see – about 3.5 years ago, my husband and I began trying to conceive our first child – after over a year of failed attempts, month after month, we began exploring other options. Eventually, after coming to the option of adoption- our conversations came to sudden hault. It was as if we both knew this was the path for us yet we were so uncertain about it that neither one of us was really jumping for the reigns to take charge. We had countless discussions surrounding IVF, IUI, surgeries, and more – and each and every time we landed back at adoption.

Life got stressful. Things didn’t seem to be falling in place and and it really seemed like we were going to hit rock bottom.

One day – after the dust had settled – and a church service message relayed the thought about following God’s plan for your life and allowing him to control – we surrendered our hearts to the calling of adoption and began to research the process.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your way’s acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

I sang a song in church called “even when it hurts” by Hillsong – the lyrics¬†go like this:

Take this fainted heart
Take these tainted hands
Wash me in your love
Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost
I’ll praise you
Even when I have no song
I’ll praise you
Even when it’s hard to find the words
Louder then I’ll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost
I’ll praise you
Even when it hurts like hell
I’ll praise you
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I’ll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise

And my heart burns only for you
You are all you are all I want
And my soul waits only for you
And I will sing till the morning has come

Lord my heart burns only for you
You are all you are all I want
And my soul waits only for you
And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise

Even when the morning comes
I’ll praise you
Even when the fight is won
I’ll praise you
Even when my time on earth is done
Louder then I’ll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

I rehearsed this song in the car over and over again – often with my eyes closed as to keep myself from crying. “God, I am at the end of the road – please take this where we need to go” – I prayed on repeat for what seemed like ages.

This song became my anthem – no matter how long or hard this journey has been – I will sing your praise. I will keep fighting for your presence. This was October 2016 – We had been anxiously waiting for an adoption match for over 9 months and had been waiting over 2 years for that precious baby in our family.

About 2 weeks later – after leading this song in church – we got that phone call – a birth mother had requested to speak with us.

My emotions were going haywire and I had no idea how to proceed in this uncharted territory – but that was it. We were matched.

I had no idea that those conversations so early on would set our family on such a miraculous journey but I am so glad it did. ¬†The sermon I mentioned at the very beginning of this post reflected on the idea¬†of¬†needing to focus on desiring Christ’s presence in our lives.

I am here to tell you that the journey of infertility can be long and the journey through adoption can be long Рlifelong!  However, if that is you, and you are navigating this part of your life. Know there are people to speak to, know you are not alone, draw closer to our heavenly father and ask for him to take charge.

Even when the fight seems lost
I’ll praise you
Even when it hurts like hell
I’ll praise you
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I’ll sing your praise.





Finding God’s Plan through Infertility

Today I write this post as a way of recollecting the memories, trials, and triumphs of our journey to growing our family. I write this not out of any need for pity but more out of the desire to journal our path and in hopes that it might provide hope to someone else embarking on a similar one. This post may be tough to read for some and may resonate perfectly with others. So here it goes…

To be completely comprehensive – we would have to back up to childhood – I have always known since I was a very little girl that I wanted to be a mother. I knew to my vary core that I would be a mom and I would have children of my own one day. It wasn’t something that was up for negotiation – motherhood was in my DNA and all parts of my life would fall into place to make that happen. When it would happen? no idea. Although growing up, as many little girls do, I always said I wanted to be married and having kids by the time I was 27. When you are a kid- 27 seems so “adult”.  When you are 27, you just feel like a kid that is pretending to “adult”.  Nevertheless- the goal line was 27. If you know me, I am a serious ‘goal’ follower – goal lines are the minimum to me and I run as hard and fast as I can until its achieved. So let’s start off with that as a base line. A determined, hard fast desire to bring to life the very essence of my being – motherhood (plus all the other stuff that comes with life ūüėČ ).

At 15 I met the love of my life. We met in high school as friends and over a casual lunch table conversation decided to make those “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” titles official. I will admit that at the young age of 15, when my mom told me I couldn’t have a boyfriend yet, I had know idea I was answering “sure” to the man that would stand by my side through so much, become my husband and ultimately the father-to-be our children. We talked and dreamed about one day starting a family – how we would want to parent, the things we wanted for our children and when we would ultimately start on that path. At 23 we got married and I will never forget the feeling of pure joy, happiness, and just feeling invincible to what the world had to offer. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life – at the top of the mountain – with nothing to lose. We made it. We were married and our life together was starting. Now for the fun part…. building a marriage and children.

Many people say the first year of marriage is hard and undoubtedly it is. Learning to make decisions not for how they will only benefit you but ultimately how they benefit your spouse is a tough lesson to learn. Thinking for a unit and a family vs thinking for selfish desires is not always second nature. Nevertheless, we adjusted well and life was grand. We had a solid foundation, a solid marriage, and love for each other that made our transition into married life virtually seamless. We had nothing but joy and the world at our feet. The future looked bright and we had every reason to be happy.

In March 2014 – a devastating loss impacted our family. A beloved uncle, brother, son, friend and all around incredible human being passed away suddenly. My relationship with my uncle was closer than many and I looked up to him for career advice, life advice, and just family companionship. He taught me to view life with gratitude and to never settle for less than you can dream for. I spiraled into depression and into a realm of emotional unsettlement that I did not know was possible.  Remember that mountain I was on top of on my wedding day?  Well the way I envision it is those cartoon scenes where someone stands on the ledge and the whole things cracks and they fall straight down to the bottom of the ravine. I had a whole lot of climbing to do to get back to where I was. All our life plans were put on hold as we worked to navigate through this period of grief.

Luckily for me, I have the world’s greatest husband and even through the countless nights of hysterical tears, emotional outbursts and nights where the only sensible things to do was hide on the floor in the closet crying – he stood by my side and we pressed on.

In February 2015 – 3 years ago today – we decided we were back in a place emotionally that we wanted to start growing our family. I remember it like it was yesterday. Driving home back from lunch we decided there was no time like the present and that having children was going to be scary no matter what age we were. So we decided. We were “trying”. Naturally, I read every blog, bought every book, and downloaded every app to make sure we were doing it the right way with the utmost efficiency. (as I write this I realize how absurd that sounds. ha!) Months went by, ovulation tests became obnoxious, temperatures  became obsolete, and yet.. no baby. Month after month pregnancy tests showed up negative. I began to dream what my reaction would be should one come up positive. Slowly I began to not even test – the thought of seeing another negative test would surely tear me apart. I was still rebuilding my emotions from losing someone so close to me – surely God wouldn’t be making me experience this kind of loss too. I wasn’t ready – I wasn’t strong enough.

12 months later – after watching everyone we knew get pregnant- I woke up one night in excruciating pain and was certain my appendix had burst. I couldn’t breath as every moment or thought of movement made it worse. I laid on the bed clasping my stomach fearing something terrible was happening. At this point, we decided it was time to visit the doctor and run some tests to see what was going on. Matt passed his tests with flying colors. However, for me, days and days of blood work, ultrasounds, drinking my weight in water only to sit in a Dr. office waiting room so they could view my pelvis for 30 seconds….  things looked normal, egg count was great, uterine lining was fine. So what was the issue?

Ultimately, the ultrasound revealed cysts in the ovaries and other growth tissue commonly associated with endometriosis. Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus (the endometrial stroma and glands, which should only be located inside the uterus) is found elsewhere in the body. This can cause lesions, complications with fertility and ultimately a lot of pain on a regular basis. The cysts were small and probably only slightly decreasing our chances every month but hope was not lost. Our OB suggested that I have a hysterosalpingogram – which is fancy word for a test where they inject iodine based die into your uterus and fallopian tube and they take a million pictures to try to determine any blockage. If you google this test – its not a pretty picture. But I wanted a baby – so it was worth it and we went for it. As I laid on the table watching the monitors, watching the die float around, my stomach was cramping from the die and I had never felt so vulnerable. I laid there, alone, and watched what I hoped wouldn’t happen… there was tissue blockage in my fallopian tubes. There was no way for the egg to get where it needed to be and the chances of conception were extremely low. I held myself together as the technicians wrapped things up. I left the room with one of the most fake smiles on my face, met my husband in the waiting room, and broke down in the hallways of the hospital. My worst fear was coming true. Could I not have babies? Was my dream of motherhood a lie?  Why was God letting me feel such a feeling a happiness just a year prior to only let these life events kick me while I was down over and over again. Why couldn’t I have my happy ending? Why was this happening to me?

Again – the depression set in. I sat at the kitchen counter that night crying and apologizing to my husband for being “broken” – for not holding up my end of the bargain. For not being able to bear his children and making him go through this with me. As I write this, I am tearing up again, a part of me will always feel that pain. I wanted to be a mother – I wanted to have children. And now I wanted it more than ever.

The doctor called to discuss the test results and we began discussing various options- surgery to remove obstructions, IVF, IUI, artificial insemination. All of the above. I felt lost as to what I should do, what order I should do things in, and where in the world we would find money for something like that. It seemed easier to give up. None of these plans felt right for us. We spend the next few months trying to take things one step at a time and focus on us. The last couple of years had taken such a tole on us emotionally that it was time take a step back and focus on ourselves and our marriage. We needed to be healthy again. After many conversations and many discussions regarding our options – I finally realized one thing…. I wanted to be a mother. I have always wanted to be a mother. I have always wanted to have children. But you know what…. I have never expressed that desire as “I have always wanted to be pregnant.”  All this time- after all these years and all this pain – I thought God had abandoned me. I thought God had given me this false hope and instilled in me these false desires and false goals. I felt lost pining after pregnancy because no matter what way I looked – the doors were shut.

I realized that God never abandoned me. In fact, just as always – he plan for our lives is beautiful and one we won’t always understand. When I look back on the last three years- heck, the last 20 some odd years of my life – God gave me the strongest desire in the world to be a mother so that I wouldn’t give up when faced with infertility. He gave me the desire to be a mother so that I would know it was part of my identity. My desire has never to be pregnant. My desire has been to give my heart to my children. As my husband and I began to wrap our minds around our situation- we began to feel that calling. We began to see what door God had opened. Adoption.

With a marriage like ours, a husband like mine – strong, independent, compassionate, and devout – we had proven to each other over the last few years that our marriage can take it. We can take it. Just like I felt on our wedding day – we are invincible to what the world has to offer. We began to pursue the path of adoption and doors began opening wide. Swinging open left and right. I began to have thoughts envisioning our family – envisioning our children – and my heart warmed instantaneously. The world has so much to offer- both through struggles and through triumphs. We are matched for adoption expecting placement of a beautiful baby girl in June and we could not be more overjoyed. We are at the top of the mountain and this little girl has already shown us that there are more mountain to climb in the distance.

I recently heard a quote at a women’s retreat through our church that has stuck with me like crazy. ‚ÄúEverybody wants to reach the peak, but there is no growth on the top of a mountain.  It is in the valley that we slog through the lush grass and rich soil, learning and becoming what enables us to summit life‚Äôs next peak.- Andy Andrews” . Don’t underestimate what God is doing during your time of waiting. One day and one day soon you will be back at the peak of that mountain – you will look behind you and see the beauty of God’s orchestration and you will look forward to see the vast horizon you have yet to conquer. And then you will look beside you and see with the utmost gratitude everything that defines your happiness today.

And you want to know a little secret?  One week ago today I turned 27 – expecting our adoption placement in June. Wouldn’t my younger self be so happy to know we hit our goal. Now for the fun part…..



When your adoption is not a Plan B

GREEN- Hainesadoptionshoot-84.jpg


Let’s journey through a brief comparison for a moment:


“We’re expecting!” – we announced!

“Oh my! How wonderful and exciting! Congratulations!” – they exclaim!

… and the conversation continues through all the exciting questions- boy or girl, how far along, etc.


“We’re Adopting!” – we announced!

“Really? Why?” – they shrug.

…. and the conversation continues as the hopeful adoptive parents struggle to have to validate their joy in the choice to pursue adoption.


… Seems a bit off to me? Does it to you? Why is it anything different?

I am writing this post to hopefully share some insight to those who may not know what to say or may know someone going through adoption unexpectedly. Or perhaps – you are personally going through adoption and like me have been confused and bewildered by the large spectrum of responses given. The following are some of the responses my husband and I have received so far when announcing our adoption journey:

“Can you not make your own? “

“Congratulations! That’s amazing! When do you we do a baby shower? “

“Sounds hard- you guys must really want it”

“are you sure you haven’t tried on your own enough yet? “

“you can have my kids!”

“Why not IVF?”

“What if something is wrong with the baby?”

“I hope your marriage is strong enough to endure that.”

” Isn’t that expensive?”

” Well – I hope you have a good husband”

and my favorite…… “that’s nice – and don’t worry, I know someone who got pregnant after they adopted.”

As you can see from the various responses above – there is a wide spectrum of responses but only one of them really seemed to congratulate my husband and I on our journey or seemed to issue any support in our decision. I want the world to know that while there are many various reasons for a couple or individual to choose the route of adoption- it is not a Plan B.

Now .. in the spirit of honesty… yes, my husband and I have been struggling with infertility issues for a couple of years. And yes, we did all the tests and the consistent Dr. appointments and blood work. In fact, I was 2-days away from going through with our first round of IUI when we realized that God has something else in store for us and adoption was the way we wanted to ultimately choose to grow our family. You see – the plan is to have a happy family and to be a mother. The journey is a continuous journey. Yes, the emotional roller coaster up to the point of making a decision about moving forward with adoption was a long one and it definitely comes with the burden of making an emotional adjustment if you had envisioned pregnancy at first – but to assume that adoption is a Plan B is unfair.

If you are going through the adoption process yourself and find yourself hearing these similar comments- have confidence in the incredible journey ahead. Have confidence in your choices and the blessings you are bound to experience. When you hold that child in your arms – know that child grew in one mommy’s tummy so that they could find you. All children deserve a home and no child should ever been seen as a plan B.

Words can hurt – especially when they come from those you love. And so I urge you – If you know someone going through the journey of adoption¬†choose your reaction carefully. A couple’s reason’s for journeying through the adoption process are their own- and if you are lucky enough for them to trust you with such delicate information – treat it with the same care and joy you would treat the news of any other child entering the family.

“We’re adopting!” – we announced!

“Oh my! How wonderful and exciting! Congratulations!” – they exclaim!

… and the conversation continues through all the exciting questions- boy or girl, how far along, etc.

My family will be growing through adoption and I could not be more excited. When I hold my baby for the first time – I will be a mom and my husband will be a dad. They will be my baby and we will do right by our child for all of our days.


Adoption Fundraising

Hello everyone,

First and foremost, we want to say Thank you to everyone for their overwhelming support in supporting our adoption plans. I have had a few recent questions from individuals wanting to know how they can support us and our journey- more than just a ‘like’ on Facebook. Well, to be completely honest, the biggest area of assistance needed as of now is networking and of course, financial. There are many costs involved with adoption including travel, time off work for interstate legal reasons, attorney fees, paperwork fees, and more! And this all¬†before the normal costs of setting up a nursery for a baby. We know this is where God wants us to be and we are confident that things will line up in time, however, I wanted to put all the current fundraising platforms out there in one place…so here it is:

TAX DEDUCTIBLE PAY PAL DONATION: through our Youcaring fund site- you can find that here:

SUPPORT OUR HOME BUSINESS РPURCHASE AN ESSENTIAL OILS STARTER KIT: 100%  proceeds from this home business are going straight to our adoption fund- we have already added $300.00 this month to our fund from sharing the oily love! You can find that link here:

What is the Premium Starter Kit?

Purchasing a PSK

if you would like more information – please reach out to Chelsea.

PERSONAL DONATIONS: some people have opted to handle donations with us directly Рthis is more than fine. Please let us know. 

SHARING: if a financial donation or a purchase is not your thing- please consider sharing our profile with your friends, family, church etc. You never know where our birth mother and baby might be. 


We feel so loved by the amount of support we have received thus far- but we aren’t at our goal yet… anything you can do will benefit our baby immensely.

-Matt and Chelsea

Our Adoption Profile- Matt & Chelsea

This is one of my absolute favorite posts- our adoption profile was quite the journey to completion and Matt and I had an absolute ball putting it together. We also had wonderful family and friends help us through discounts and man power to put together all the tiny details. I put some of the pages below! Also – if you are on the journey of making your own adoption profile book. Check out the other posts on “How To” and “Things to Remember” when making an adoption profile.

PW is mattandchelsea

<p><a href=”″>Adoption Video- Matt &amp; Chelsea</a> from <a href=”″>Chelsea Haines</a> on <a href=””>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>




We’re Adopting! Baby Haines TBA!


Hello! First and foremost, Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for following along in support of our adoption journey. As many know, We have been faced with fertility struggles and after months of deliberation have felt called to the opportunity of growing our family through the domestic newborn adoption process. Although we have not located our little one just yet – we are more eager than ever to bring our sweet little babe home to a loving and warm family life. As we embark on this journey- we need to be prepared financially- and so we turn to our family, friends and community of loved ones should you find in your heart to support our endeavors monetarily. These funds will cover everything from the adoption services to travel fees, attorney and legal costs, as well as new supplies when we finally meet our child for the first time and work to bring them home. We greatly appreciate the overwhelming support of those around us and we cannot wait to introduce the world to little Baby Haines.

Thank you again for your consideration in helping us reach our goal.

If you would like to donate – you can do so here:

Additionally, you can purchase an essential oils starter kit here where all proceeds will go towards our adoption efforts.

I will keep updates of our journey below:

PW is mattandchelsea

<p><a href=”″>Adoption Video- Matt &amp; Chelsea</a> from <a href=”″>Chelsea Haines</a> on <a href=””>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>


Posted on June 6, 2016 

Yesterday we announced to family and friends of our plans to grow our family through adoption. We are overwhelmed with the amount of support, the kind words, and encouragement that has been poured out in our direction in just a short 24 hours. Today we begin the phase of fundraising as well as the logistical process to get things underway. While our hopes are to move as quickly as possible- the financial task of bringing our little babe home is daunting. We hope to lean on fundraising to help our dream of adding to our family come true. If you would like to follow along with our journey- you can do so on¬†Chelsea’s Blog¬†or you can follow our updates below along with our fundraising campaign. Thank you again to everyone for your overwhelming support.


Posted on June 6, 2016 
We have our first contribution!!! We are officially on our way! Thank You Brenna!!
Posted on June 7, 2016 
Getting papers signed today!!! Once signed, the next step is financial preparation and logistics!! Here we go!
Posted on 06/07/2016
Contract is signed and as of today we are officially active with our agency! Now we tackle the logistics including fundraising, professional photos, profiles, and more!
Posted on 06/13/2016

It’s official! Our temporary profile is officially out in the world for birth mothers to view! Its crazy exciting that things are happening already- but that also means we need to get a move on our fundraising goals! Help us spread the word!


Posted on 06/16/2016
Our online profile is now active!!!! You can view it here: A Letter from Matt and Chelsea
Don’t forget to help bring our baby home with our adoption fund-¬†Adoption Fund Donations
-Matt and Chelsea