When your adoption is not a Plan B

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Let’s journey through a brief comparison for a moment:

SITUATION #1: 

“We’re expecting!” – we announced!

“Oh my! How wonderful and exciting! Congratulations!” – they exclaim!

… and the conversation continues through all the exciting questions- boy or girl, how far along, etc.

SITUATION #2:

“We’re Adopting!” – we announced!

“Really? Why?” – they shrug.

…. and the conversation continues as the hopeful adoptive parents struggle to have to validate their joy in the choice to pursue adoption.

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… Seems a bit off to me? Does it to you? Why is it anything different?

I am writing this post to hopefully share some insight to those who may not know what to say or may know someone going through adoption unexpectedly. Or perhaps – you are personally going through adoption and like me have been confused and bewildered by the large spectrum of responses given. The following are some of the responses my husband and I have received so far when announcing our adoption journey:

“Can you not make your own? “

“Congratulations! That’s amazing! When do you we do a baby shower? “

“Sounds hard- you guys must really want it”

“are you sure you haven’t tried on your own enough yet? “

“you can have my kids!”

“Why not IVF?”

“What if something is wrong with the baby?”

“I hope your marriage is strong enough to endure that.”

” Isn’t that expensive?”

” Well – I hope you have a good husband”

and my favorite…… “that’s nice – and don’t worry, I know someone who got pregnant after they adopted.”

As you can see from the various responses above – there is a wide spectrum of responses but only one of them really seemed to congratulate my husband and I on our journey or seemed to issue any support in our decision. I want the world to know that while there are many various reasons for a couple or individual to choose the route of adoption- it is not a Plan B.

Now .. in the spirit of honesty… yes, my husband and I have been struggling with infertility issues for a couple of years. And yes, we did all the tests and the consistent Dr. appointments and blood work. In fact, I was 2-days away from going through with our first round of IUI when we realized that God has something else in store for us and adoption was the way we wanted to ultimately choose to grow our family. You see – the plan is to have a happy family and to be a mother. The journey is a continuous journey. Yes, the emotional roller coaster up to the point of making a decision about moving forward with adoption was a long one and it definitely comes with the burden of making an emotional adjustment if you had envisioned pregnancy at first – but to assume that adoption is a Plan B is unfair.

If you are going through the adoption process yourself and find yourself hearing these similar comments- have confidence in the incredible journey ahead. Have confidence in your choices and the blessings you are bound to experience. When you hold that child in your arms – know that child grew in one mommy’s tummy so that they could find you. All children deserve a home and no child should ever been seen as a plan B.

Words can hurt – especially when they come from those you love. And so I urge you – If you know someone going through the journey of adoption choose your reaction carefully. A couple’s reason’s for journeying through the adoption process are their own- and if you are lucky enough for them to trust you with such delicate information – treat it with the same care and joy you would treat the news of any other child entering the family.

“We’re adopting!” – we announced!

“Oh my! How wonderful and exciting! Congratulations!” – they exclaim!

… and the conversation continues through all the exciting questions- boy or girl, how far along, etc.

My family will be growing through adoption and I could not be more excited. When I hold my baby for the first time – I will be a mom and my husband will be a dad. They will be my baby and we will do right by our child for all of our days.

-Chelsea

Adoption Fundraising

Hello everyone,

First and foremost, we want to say Thank you to everyone for their overwhelming support in supporting our adoption plans. I have had a few recent questions from individuals wanting to know how they can support us and our journey- more than just a ‘like’ on Facebook. Well, to be completely honest, the biggest area of assistance needed as of now is networking and of course, financial. There are many costs involved with adoption including travel, time off work for interstate legal reasons, attorney fees, paperwork fees, and more! And this all before the normal costs of setting up a nursery for a baby. We know this is where God wants us to be and we are confident that things will line up in time, however, I wanted to put all the current fundraising platforms out there in one place…so here it is:

TAX DEDUCTIBLE PAY PAL DONATION: through our Youcaring fund site- you can find that here: 

https://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser-widget.aspx?frid=580982

SUPPORT OUR HOME BUSINESS – PURCHASE AN ESSENTIAL OILS STARTER KIT: 100%  proceeds from this home business are going straight to our adoption fund- we have already added $300.00 this month to our fund from sharing the oily love! You can find that link here:

What is the Premium Starter Kit?

Purchasing a PSK

if you would like more information – please reach out to Chelsea.

PERSONAL DONATIONS: some people have opted to handle donations with us directly – this is more than fine. Please let us know. 

SHARING: if a financial donation or a purchase is not your thing- please consider sharing our profile with your friends, family, church etc. You never know where our birth mother and baby might be. 

 

We feel so loved by the amount of support we have received thus far- but we aren’t at our goal yet… anything you can do will benefit our baby immensely.

-Matt and Chelsea

Our Adoption Profile- Matt & Chelsea

This is one of my absolute favorite posts- our adoption profile was quite the journey to completion and Matt and I had an absolute ball putting it together. We also had wonderful family and friends help us through discounts and man power to put together all the tiny details. I put some of the pages below! Also – if you are on the journey of making your own adoption profile book. Check out the other posts on “How To” and “Things to Remember” when making an adoption profile.

PW is mattandchelsea

<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/172520965″>Adoption Video- Matt &amp; Chelsea</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/user53791267″>Chelsea Haines</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

 

 

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We’re Adopting! Baby Haines TBA!

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Hello! First and foremost, Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for following along in support of our adoption journey. As many know, We have been faced with fertility struggles and after months of deliberation have felt called to the opportunity of growing our family through the domestic newborn adoption process. Although we have not located our little one just yet – we are more eager than ever to bring our sweet little babe home to a loving and warm family life. As we embark on this journey- we need to be prepared financially- and so we turn to our family, friends and community of loved ones should you find in your heart to support our endeavors monetarily. These funds will cover everything from the adoption services to travel fees, attorney and legal costs, as well as new supplies when we finally meet our child for the first time and work to bring them home. We greatly appreciate the overwhelming support of those around us and we cannot wait to introduce the world to little Baby Haines.

Thank you again for your consideration in helping us reach our goal.

If you would like to donate – you can do so here:

https://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser-widget.aspx?frid=580982

Additionally, you can purchase an essential oils starter kit here where all proceeds will go towards our adoption efforts.

I will keep updates of our journey below:

PW is mattandchelsea

<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/172520965″>Adoption Video- Matt &amp; Chelsea</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/user53791267″>Chelsea Haines</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

 

Posted on June 6, 2016 

Yesterday we announced to family and friends of our plans to grow our family through adoption. We are overwhelmed with the amount of support, the kind words, and encouragement that has been poured out in our direction in just a short 24 hours. Today we begin the phase of fundraising as well as the logistical process to get things underway. While our hopes are to move as quickly as possible- the financial task of bringing our little babe home is daunting. We hope to lean on fundraising to help our dream of adding to our family come true. If you would like to follow along with our journey- you can do so on Chelsea’s Blog or you can follow our updates below along with our fundraising campaign. Thank you again to everyone for your overwhelming support.

 

Posted on June 6, 2016 
We have our first contribution!!! We are officially on our way! Thank You Brenna!!
Posted on June 7, 2016 
Getting papers signed today!!! Once signed, the next step is financial preparation and logistics!! Here we go!
Posted on 06/07/2016
Contract is signed and as of today we are officially active with our agency! Now we tackle the logistics including fundraising, professional photos, profiles, and more!
 
Posted on 06/13/2016

It’s official! Our temporary profile is officially out in the world for birth mothers to view! Its crazy exciting that things are happening already- but that also means we need to get a move on our fundraising goals! Help us spread the word!

 

Posted on 06/16/2016
Our online profile is now active!!!! You can view it here: A Letter from Matt and Chelsea
Don’t forget to help bring our baby home with our adoption fund- Adoption Fund Donations
-Matt and Chelsea

 

 

Gluten Free on the Go

So.. if you have been following my posts- you might know that I recently switched my diet for health reasons to no soy, no dairy, no red meat and no gluten! For anyone that knows me – the gluten and dairy game is the WORST! I am the biggest bread and cheese or pasta advocate ever born. But alas, my body doesn’t agree with my heart 😦

In addition to the recipes I am personally cultivating for a gluten free life (check them out!) I also use the following alternatives to supplement my daily gluten free game – check them out if you need assistance or motivation switching to Gluten Free!

  1. The CrossRoads Baker– Gluten Free cooking demystified and perfected: Recipes here!
  2. The Love with Food Box Subscriptions – they ship junk free and gluten free snacks to your door once a month AND each box ordered donates a second box to a hungry child in the US! If you’d like 50% off your first box – use this link here!

Good luck!

Chelsea

Decisions: Day Two of #365morningmotivations

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Day Two of #365morningmotivations

(FOR THE OTHER DAYS OF MORNING MOTIVATIONS- SEE HERE )

Theme: Decisions.

For this motivation I am going to turn to these Young Living Essential Oils:

  • Stress Away – for those positive vibes we all desperately need.
  • Joy – self explanatory
  • Clarity – to help us see through the mucky waters and make choices
  • Highest Potential – for that little boost telling you to be your best.

Today I’ve got a couple drops of Stress Away in my diffuser and topically applied Joy and Highest Potential to my neck and  Clarity over my heart.

(REMEMBER: IF YOU NEED YOUR OWN OILS- YOU CAN GET YOUR STARTER KIT HERE OR IF YOU HAVE THEM AND YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ON USAGE CHECK OUT MY POST ON DIFFERENT WAYS TO USE OILS HERE. )

OK- So.. decisions. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…. am I right? They are always there to be made and sometimes the fork in life that we are facing is hard!  Have you ever felt like the events in your life or the decisions you are needing to make seem harder than the lives of those around you?  I certainly felt that way for a long time and still do from time to time – I’m  human. However, I am writing this to remind you of these things:

  1. you are loved regardless
  2. make the decisions for you and only you
  3. we all handle stress in our own ways
  4. its ok.

“You are loved Regardless” – Hebrews 13:5 says “I will never leave nor will I forsake you”  Jesus explicitly tells us that we will never been given any challenge that we cannot handle. God loves you as do your family and friends. If you are faced with a tough decision or going through something rough in life – its OK to lean on those around you.

“Make the decisions for you and only you” – I am currently going through some tough decision making and a friend recently turned to me a said “there is no wrong answer as long as its best for you”.  I cannot tell you the kind of pressure those simple words lifted off of my shoulders. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the goal of being a millionaire but your friend does. Your goals are your goals. Your decisions are your decisions. Choose whats best for you and those that care about you will get in line.

“We all handle stress in our own ways” –  Stress can have a big impact on our lives. But what we must realize is that sometimes it is OK to take a break. Realizing how stress creeps into our daily routines and taking action to reduce it can often have a big impact on the clarity we have on the decisions to be made. If you are faced with big choices- don’t stress- time will tell what the correct route is. Acknowledge your stress and take a walk, exercise, meditate, etc.

“Its OK” – that’s a simple one. It really truly is OK. Its OK to not know what the right choice is or to feel like you don’t know what you are doing. The truth is that no adult really does?! The biggest thing I learned stepping into the real world after graduating college is that adults are just giant children making things up as they go. Its OK – just do your best.

These four points bring me back to the quote above:

“Every Accomplishment Starts with the Decision to Try” 

What that accomplishment is or what that decision/trying looks like is up to you. The point is to get started. One foot in front of the other- one step at a time. It doesn’t matter how big or small those steps are – it just matters that you take a step forward. Nothing worth having is easy – and everything worth having is worth the fight.

Thoughts for the day: Yesterday we talked about Grit, small victories and how you were going to apply it to life. So for today – what decisions led to those small victories? What decisions can you make today that will help you get one step closer to your goals? What are you going to try?

Happy Day 2. 363 more to Go.

-Chelsea

 

DIY: Makeup Remover & Facial Toner

 

DIY: Makeup Remover & Facial Toner

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DIY- MAKEUP REMOVER:

1 Mason Jar

Cotton Rounds

Witches Hazel (I buy mine at Sprouts)

Organic Coconut Oil

Filtered Water

Lavender Essential Oil

Directions:  in the mason jar, mix 2-3 ounces of coconut oil equal parts filtered water and witches hazel. Add 10 drops of Lavender Essential Oil. Add cotton rounds to the mixture in the jar, close up the jar and label! Voila- presoaked cotton rounds of makeup remover ready to go. Bonus: Lavender Oil helps support moisture levels of the skin!

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DIY – FACIAL TONER

1 Mason Jar

Cotton Rounds

Witches Hazel (from Sprouts)

Frankincense Essential Oil

Lemon Essential Oil

Vitamin E Oil

Directions: fill the jar with witches hazel. Add 10 drops of each oil and add in one capsules worth of vitamin E oil. Add the cotton rounds – close up the jar and label. Done!

 

All these oils are included in the premium starter kit that you can purchase here: What is the Premium Starter Kit?

 

DIY: Carpet Freshener

Do you ever wish there was a simple way to remove stingy smells from your carpet that was safe for both your children playing on the floor and your pets?

Me too- which is why our family uses these DIY recipes for our carpet cleaning needs:

  1. We utilize Thieves Cleaner from Young Living in our Hoover Carpet Cleaner rather than the chemical based cleaners.
  2. After the thieves cleaner cleaned carpet dries- we use a DIY Carpet Freshener Powder.

Want the thieves cleaner? Here’s the recipe. See below for where you can get these ingredients too.

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Ingredients:

Baking Soda

Purification Essential Oil

Lavender Essential Oil

Lemon Essential Oil

Mason Jar

(Click here to purchase your oil kit- all three of these are included in the premium starter kit)

Directions:

Pour baking soda into a bowl. Drop 10 drops of each oil into the bowl of baking soda. Using a fork, mix the oil/baking soda mix until the oils are evenly distributed.

Poke holes into the lid of the mason jar. Pour oil/baking soda mix into the jar. Screw cap on. Sprinkle over dry carpet and let sit for 10+ minutes prior to vacuuming up.

(this can also be used on couches/rugs/pillows etc)

Enjoy!

View More: http://everlastinglovephotography.pass.us/oils